The female… An interesting creature. There are so many of them, so intricately designed… then one day, when your are not looking at all, it seems like all of them cross your path, and you are lost for words i’m just confused why some of them like me… all at the same time… all of them amazing in everyway: love Christ, deep expressive personalities, and to make it worse of better -dependig on how you look at it- all of them just’happen to look incredible too… Most guys would have exploded from the giant head on their shoulders by now, but its actually terrifying in a way for me because i’m lost for words.
It almost make me cry that even one girl would even give me the time of day to care for me that way; i just have not direction whatsoever… i would be lying at myself if i say that i’m not attracted to all of them in some way, but that seems horribly wrong too. All that i want is to be in complete love with my God and at the same time, with the one girl that i am suppose to be with, i don’t want to hurt myself and more than anything, i specially do not want to hurt any girl’s heart.
Only God knows what the future may hold with these friendship/relationships that are happening, but thats the future i am living today, thats what matters! and for the time being, im physically alone, without a companion, but i know that she is out there praying for me… just as hard as i am praying for her… daily… that God would hold her in His arms on the cold days, hover His wings over her on her rainy days, and hold her hand on the days when she feels like she is walking all by herself.
One day… i’ll finally be there to hold her in my arms, cover her with my coat when its rain, and hold her hand as we walk along the street. I guess some people migth call me a hopeless romantic, all i know is that this is how God made me.
Whoever you are…
Wherever you are…
I love you